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Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Why I Live in the Philippines

Filipinos have been known for their resilience, even in the face of uncertainty and amidst crises Filipinos still manage to keep their sense of humor intact. Here's an email I got from a friend and I'm very sure it will put a smile on your face, too.


Philippines is the only place on earth where:
  1. Every street has a basketball court.
  2. Even doctors, lawyers and engineers are unemployed.
  3. Doctors study to become nurses abroad.
  4. Students pay more money than they will earn afterwards.
  5. Schools are considered the second home and the mall is considered the third.
  6. Call-center employees earn more money than teachers and nurses.
  7. Everyone has his personal ghost story and superstition.
  8. Mountains like Makiling and Banahaw are considered holy places.
  9. Everything can be forged.
  10. All kinds of animals are edible.
  11. Starbucks coffee is more expensive than gas.
  12. Driving 4 kms can take as much as four hours.
  13. Flyovers bring you from the freeway to the side streets.
  14. Crossing the street involves running for your dear life.
  15. The personal computer is mainly used for games and Friendster.
  16. Where colonial mentality is dishonestly denied!
  17. Where 4 a.m. is not even considered bedtime yet.
  18. People can pay to defy the law.
  19. Everything and everyone is spoofed.
  20. Where even the poverty-stricken get to wear Tommy Hilfigger and Ralph Lauren (peke!).
  21. The honking of car horns is a way of life.
  22. Being called a bum is never offensive.
  23. Floodwaters take up more than 90 percent of the streets during the rainy season.
  24. Where everyone has a relative abroad who keeps them alive.
  25. Where wearing your national colors make you baduy.
  26. Where even the poverty-stricken have the latest cellphones. (GSM-Galing Sa Magnanakaw)
  27. Where insurance does not work.
  28. Where water can only be classified as tap and dirty.
  29. Clean water is for sale. (35.00 pesos per gallon)
  30. Where the government makes the people pray for miracles. (Amen to that!)
  31. Where University Of The Philippines is where all the weird people go.
  32. Ateneo is where all the nerds go.
  33. La Salle is where all the Chinese go.
  34. College of Saint Benilde is where all the stupid Chinese go and;
  35. University of Asia and the Pacific is where all the irrelevantly rich people go.
  36. Fast food is a diet meal.
  37. Traffic signs are merely suggestions, not regulations.
  38. Where being mugged is normal and it happens to everyone.
  39. Rodents are normal house pets.
  40. The definition of traffic is 'non-movement' of vehicles.
  41. Where the fighter planes of the 1940's are used for military engagements, and;
  42. The new fighter planes are displayed in museums.
  43. Where cigarettes and alcohol are a necessity, and where the lottery is a commodity.
  44. Where soap operas tell the realities of life and the news provides the drama.
  45. Where actors make the rules and where politicians provide the entertainment.
  46. People can get away stealing trillions of pesos but not a thousand.
  47. People can get jailed for stealing a pair of slippers but not for graft and corruption.
  48. Where being an hour late is still considered punctual. (Grabe talaga to!)
  49. Where the squatters have more to complain (even if they do not pay the tax), than those employed and have their tax automatically deducted from their salaries.
  50. And where everyone wants to leave the country!


FILIPINO SIGNS OF WIT:

  1. The sign in a flower shop in Diliman called Petal Attraction.
  2. Anita Bakery
  3. A 24-hour restaurant called Doris Day and Night.
  4. Barber shop called Felix The Cut;
  5. A bakery named Bread Pitt.
  6. Fast-food place selling 'maruya' (banana fritters) called Maruya Carey.
  7. Then, there's Christopher Plumbing;
  8. A boutique called The Way We Wear;
  9. A video rental shop called Leon King Video Rental;
  10. A restaurant in Cainta, district of Rizal called Caintacky Fried Chicken;
  11. A local burger restairant called Mang Donald's;
  12. A doughnut shop called Macdonuts;
  13. A shop selling lumpia (egg roll) in Makati called Wrap and Roll;
  14. And 2 butcher shops called Meating Place and Meatropolis.
  15. Smart travelers can decipher what may look like baffling signs to unaccustomed foreigners by simply sounding out the 'Taglish' (The Philippine version of English words spelled and pronounced with a heavy Filipino such as:At a restaurant menu in Cebu "We hab sop drinks in can an in batol" [translation: We have Soft drinks in can and bottle].
  16. Then, there is a sewing accessories shop called Bids and Pises [ translation: Beads and Pieces--or--Bits and Pieces]. There are also many signs with either badly chosen or misspelled words but they are usually so entertaining that it would be a mistake to correct them like...
  17. In a restaurant in Baguio City, the 'summer capital' of the Philippines: Wanted: Boy Waitress?
  18. On a highway in Pampanga: 'We make modern antique furniture'.
  19. On the window of a photography shop in Cabanatuan: 'We shoot you while you wait'.
  20. And on the glass front of a cafe in Panay Avenue, Manila: Wanted: Waiter, Cashier, Washier.
  21. A shoe store in Pangasinan which has a sign saying: We sell imported Robber Shoes (this could be the sneakiest sneakers).
  22. A rental property sign in Jaro reads: House for rent, fully furnaced. (it must really be hot inside!)
  23. Occasionally, one could come across signs that are truly unique - if not altogether odd. City in southern Philippines which said: Adults- 1 peso; Child-0.50 centavos; Cadavers-fares subject to negotiation?
  24. European tourists may also be intrigued to discover 2 competing shops of hopia ( a Chinese pastry) called Holland Hopia and Polland Hopia which are owned and operated by two Chinese enterpreneurs, Mr. Ho and Mr. Po respectively - (believe it or not)!
  25. Some folks also 'creatively' redesign English to be more efficient? The creative confusion between language and culture leads to more than just simple unintentional errors in syntax, but in the adoption of new words, says reader Robert Goodfellow who came across a sign..... House Fersallarend (House for sale or rent). Why use 5 words when 2 will do?
  26. According to Manila businessman Tonyboy Ongsiako, there is so much wit in the Philippines because we are a country where a good sense of humor is needed to survive. We have a 24-hour comedy show here called the government and a huge reserve of comedians made up mostly of politicians and bad actors.

Now I ask you where else in the world would you want to live?


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