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Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Relationships

Trust is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.

A
female
telephone operator
received
a phone call
one day.
She answered,

"Public Utilities Board."
There was silence.
"PUB."
There

was still
no answer.

When she was
going to
cut off the line,
she
heard a
lady's voice,

"Oh,
so this is PUB.

Sorry,
I got the number
from
my husband's
pocket
but
I do not know
whose number it is."


Without
mutual trust,

just imagine
what will happen

to the couple
if
the telephone operator

answered
with just

"hello"
instead of
"PUB".



-----

No Pointing Fingers

A
man asked
his
father-in-law,
"Many people praised

you
for a
successful marriage.
Could
you please
share
with me
your secret?"

The

father-in-law
answered in
a smile,
"Never criticize
your
wife
for her
shortcomings
or
when
she does

something wrong.
Always
bear in mind
that
because
of her shortcomings
and
weaknesses,
she
could not

find
a better husband

than you."

We
all look
forward
to
being loved
and
respected.

Many people
are
afraid of
losing
face.
Generally,
when a person
makes
a mistake,
he would

look around to
find

a scapegoat
to point
a
finger at.
This
is the start
of
a war.
We

should always
remember

that
when we point
one finger
at a
person,
the other
four fingers
are
pointing at

ourselves.

If we
forgive others,
others will
ignore
our mistake, too.




-----

Creating Perfect Relationships?

A person
visited
the government
matchmaker
for
marriage,
SDU,
and requested
"I am
looking for
a
spouse.
Please help
me to
find a suitable
one.
The SDU
Officer said,
"Your
requirements
please."
"Oh, good-looking,
polite,
humorous,
sporty,
knowledgeable,
good in singing,
and dancing.
Willing
to
accompany
me the whole day
at home
during
my leisure hour,
If,
I don't
go out.
Telling me
interesting stories
when
I need
companion
for
conversation
and be silent
when
I want to rest."
The
officer
listened carefully
and
replied,
"I
understand
you need
television."

There is
a saying that
a perfect
match
can only
be
found
between a
blind wife and
a
deaf husband,
because
the blind wife
cannot
see the faults
of the
husband
and
the deaf husband
cannot
hear
the nagging
of the
wife.
Many couples
are
blind and deaf
during
the courting stage
and
dream of
perpetual, perfect
relationship.
Unfortunately,
when the
excitement
of
love wears off,
they
wake up
and discover
that
marriage
is not
a
bed of roses.
The
nightmare
begins.



-----

No Over-powering

Many
relationships
fail because
one party
tries to
over-power
another or
demands too much.
People
in love
tend
to think
that love will
conquer all
and
their spouses
will change
the
bad habits
after
marriage.
Actually,
this is not the
case.
There
is a
Chinese
saying
which carries
the meaning
that
"It is easier
to reshape a mountain
or a river
than a
person's character."

It
is not
easy
to change.
Thus,
having high
expectation on
changing
the
spouse's
character will
cause
disappointment
and
unpleasantness.

It would be
less
painful to
change
ourselves
and lower our
expectations...




Right Speech

There
is a Chinese
saying
which carries
the meaning
that
"A speech will
either
prosper or
ruin
a nation."
Many
relationships
break off
because of
wrong speech.
When
a couple
is too close
with
each other,
we
always
forget mutual
respect
and
courtesy.
We
may say
anything without
considering
if
it would
hurt
the other
party.

A
friend and
her
millionaire
husband
visited their
construction site.
A worker
who
wore a helmet
saw her
and shouted,
"Hi Emily!,
remember me?"
We
used to date
in secondary school."
On the
way home,
her
millionaire
husband teased
her,
"Luckily you
married me.
Otherwise,
you will be the
wife
of a
construction worker."
She
answered,
"You should appreciate
that
you married
me.
Otherwise,
he will
be the millionaire
and
not you."

Frequently
exchanging these
remarks
plants the seed
for a
bad
relationship.
It's
like a broken
egg- cannot
be
reversed.


Personal Perception

Different
people
have different
perception.
One
man's meat
could be
another man's
poison.
A
couple
bought a
donkey
from the market.
On the
way home,
a boy commented.
"Very stupid.
Why
neither of them
ride
on the
donkey?"
Upon hearing
that,
the husband
let
the wife
ride on the
donkey.
He
walked
beside them.
Later on
an old man
saw them and
commented,
"The
husband
is the head of
the family.
How
can the wife
ride
on the donkey
while
the husband
is on foot?"
Hearing this, the
wife quickly
got down
and
let the husband
ride
on the donkey.
Further
on the way home,
they met
an old lady.
She commented,
"How
can the man
ride on the donkey
and let
the wife walk.
He is
no gentleman."
The husband
thus
quickly
asked the
wife
to join him
on the
donkey.
Then,
they met
a young man.
He commented,
"Poor donkey,
how can
you hold up
the weight
of two
persons.
They
are cruel
to you."
Hearing that,
the husband and
the wife
immediately
climbed down
from
the donkey
and
carried it
on their
shoulders.

It seems
to be
the only choice
left.
Later, on a
narrow bridge,
the donkey
was frightened
and
struggled.
They lost their
balance
and fell into
the river.
You
can never
have
anyone
praise you,
now will
everyone
condemn you.
Never
in the past, not in
the present,
and never
will be
in the future.

Thus,
do not be
too bothered
by
others' words
if
our
conscience
is clear...


Be Patient

This
is a true
story
which happened
in the States.
A man
came out of
his home
to admire his
new truck.
To his
puzzlement,
his 3-year old son
was
happily hammering
dents in the
shiny
paint of the
truck.
The man
ran to his
son,
knocked
him away,
hammered the
little boy's hands
into pulp
as punishment.
When the
father
calmed down,
he rushed
his son
to the hospital.

Although
the doctor tried
desperately
to save
the crushed
bones, he
finally had to
amputate
the fingers from
both
the boy's hands.
When
the boy woke
up from the surgery
and saw
his bandaged
stubs,
he innocently said,
"Daddy, I'm
sorry
about your truck."
Then
he asked,
"but when are my
fingers
going to
grow back?"
The
father
went home
and
committed suicide.

Think
about this story
the next time
someone
steps on
your feet
or
you wish
to take revenge.
Think first
before
you lose your
patience
with someone
you love.
Trucks
can be repaired..
broken bones and
hurt feelings
often can't.
Too
often we
fail to
recognize
between the
person
and the
performance.
We
forget that
forgiveness is
greater
than
revenge.

People make
mistakes.
But
the actions
we take
while
in a rage
will
haunt us
forever.



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