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Saturday, July 5, 2008

What's the right age to marry?

My husband and I married when I was 19, and he 23. Right after graduating from college, we eloped. My parents were so strict that I wasn't even allowed to go out on dates. I have to admit that both of us were not ready at that time. Financially we were unstable but we were lucky enough to have parents who backed us up all the way.

Although we've gone through a lot during our early years, I am glad our love kept us together. We've had many fights just like normal couples do, too many to count actually. From those fights we've learned a lot. We've learned when to take the lead and when to give in. Putting GOD as the center of our marriage helped us survive 21 years. Not to mention the hundreds of "pillow talks" we've had. We've learned never to let a day pass without talking about it and never go to sleep without making up. That, I think is our secret.

Others may not agree with me but I believe it's been easier in many ways to have married so young. We've grown up with our kids and we both had fun playing with them while they were growing up. And if you were to ask me what I love most about marrying young? I've always loved the surprised looks on people's faces when they hear that I have a 19 year old daughter.

How about you? Do you think marrying young is wise or you would live life more and rather wait?

16 comments :

MIRA said...

For me, age may or may not be a factor in making a great marriage, so its all relative. Regardless of age, if two people are in love and willing to make their marriage work then I don't see any reason why not. I married quite late because I was so engrossed in my career that my personal life took a backseat from it. So at my age I still have a toddler to raise :-). Though my life completely turned around to being a SAHM, I don't have any regret because I've been there, done that.
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Perky said...

For me I don't think me marrying young would've been a good idea. Back in my late teens-early twenties, I was really into the partying & socializing scene. So marrying back then would've most likely ended up in a divorce.

But now I'm 27. And I feel that time is slipping away from me. Now it seems like I'm rushing to get married...

sasha said...

I also believe that marrying young has its advantages. Like you can really relate more with your kids and learning more along the way. Kaya lang kasi, tita, with the current situation of the economy (and the world at large) parang it would be hard to maintain a family na.

And you're right. Kaya nga when I saw you, I really thought you looked a lot younger hehe :)

Happy weekend, tita!

Mummy Sheng said...

you are lucky that marrying young for you works. some, mostly a lot unfotunately ends apart. good to know that you've got supportive parents that helped you along the way.

i agree that it's nice to have kids at a young age because you grow up together. lucky you!

eastcoastlife said...

I like the idea of marrying young. In fact I have been telling my 16 yr old son to start finding a girlfriend and marry when he is ready.

In 2 yrs time, he would be a working as a chef. My son is matured and a responsible boy and my hubby and I are prepared to help him out with his family.

There are benefits when you marry young. I married in my twenties while hubby was already in his 30s.

Hailey's Beats and Bits said...

of course age is a factor for marriage. if it's too early or the couple is too young, there will be too many adjustments. if the couple is old already, rearing children will be a challenge because of age gap; or if they will still be strong enough to guide their children not just materially but also emotionally.
I love the facy that I married young 23. I am 34 but my kids are already 10, 9 and 6. there's not much age difference thus i can relate with their fads and talk to them rationally. i love to think that by 48, my kids will be 24, 23, 20 already! maybe i will be grand by then! teee hee!!!

cha said...

as for me age is not an issue. if you met your partner in life in whatever age that maybe, you dont have to waste time and get marry. glamorouscha.info

{girl}forallstatus said...

we have many things in common. I also got married at 19 and I have an 18-year old son. But sadly, my marriage didn't work. But I'm glad yours did. =)

Marie said...

I think if both people involved are mature enough, ready and committed for marriage, then it is the right time - this applies to any age group. Both parties involved MUST be ready and committed to the path they are about to take.

I also agree that it's important before going to bed to always resolve any issues you and your partner may have. There's no point in bottling it up because it will just build up and the problem becomes worse. Always resolve the issues at the end of the day, this way everyone can have a good night's sleep :)

irish said...

preparation and maturity is important. but if we think about it, if you deal with it as early as when your still young and full of vigor, you get to learn more. :) hope u continue to have a blessed relationship. i do hope one. its very promising.

michaelwong38@gmail.com, pls add me to your facebook said...

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Zip n Tizzy said...

I'm glad I didn't marry my 19 year old boyfriend, because it wouldn't have worked. I did end up marrying my boyfriend from when I was 23, when I was 28, and we're still happily married. I thought I was too young to have kids back then, and I don't know what it would have done to our marriage, but I think people are definitely more physically suited to have kids young. Not sure our society makes us more emotionally ready, or at least isn't supportive of young parents. I think the idea of having grown children while you're still young is awesome,and when the marriage is strong, certainly creates the opportunity for more involved grand parenting. Congratulations on your long marriage. I certainly commend people for making it work, because it really is work, but well worth it.

Max said...

Hello Liza,

Very interesting question! And thanks for sharing your personal story with us :)!

To answer your question: a few years ago I used to think that age was not a factor (my mom was also 19 when she got married); but then I changed my mind cause having 19 today is not the same as having 19 back then. In my mom and yours time, people were more mature in that age, they viewed life through different eyes...

Today's kids are extremely immature and selfish; and they wouldn't know how to deal a marital relationship. I think that they aren't ready to commit themselves to a spouse, to think about two instead of thinking about themselves etc.

But of course, there are exceptions to what I am saying; there are 19 years old kids who are extremely adults and ready to deal with life and relationship in a perfect fashion.

But still, I think one should study first, have fun and then get married.

Have a delightful week, darling!

Cheers

monaco said...

Wow, you married young pala Liza. I'm already ** and I'm still single!

Tina said...

I think my mom married at that age too.

Me personally i think prob now onwards is the right time for me to get married, and im 27 this year lol.

That must seem really old compared to when you wed hee hee :)

Dana & Debbie said...

nice comment Mira!!! I agree with you.. :)


Debbie

 
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